Oh. My. Fucking. God.
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Want a whole new way to feel special? How about your own personal paparazzi? … … (Yeah, that lasted for like, 5 seconds) Look - I understand the need to feel special and unique. Myself, I have an ongoing problem with terminal uniqueness - I mean for fuck’s sake, here I am, blabbing away on the internets, posting my work, and in general shouting “notice me!” to an unknown amount of strangers. I like attention (ahem, Cancer with Leo rising, hel-loooo!), and I have often fallen on my face when trying to get it. But I recognize this for what this is, and, this… this is not a lifestyle for me, y’know? I do not make my life about posting on the internets, putting up half-nekkid pictures and expecting to be patted and petted and treated like a celebrity. I post my blatherings and my work as a means to an end, and never as an end in and of itself. I think that I have… perspective. So, why am I getting so worked up? Because I think the entire country, and parts of the rest of the world (UK, I’m looking at YOU!) have become infected with the Hollywood Virus. You may have heard me talk about it before - it’s the thing that happens to otherwise perfectly normal people when they get too close to Hollywood. They… shift. They get so close to the unique specialness that Hollywood provides that they begin acting in ways they could never have imagined before. It’s not just greed… or hell, maybe it is? Maybe wanting to be a celebrity is another kind of greed, a craving for attention that just consumes you, till the next thing you know, you have sold out your friends, your morals, your… (Oh my god. OH MY GOD. Am I punkrockranting about people SELLING OUT? Jesus, I hope not.) SO WHAT I WAS TRYING TO SAY IS… why on EARTH would anyone PAY to be chased by faux-parazzi? Is this the same thing that drives people to audition for reality shows, or make fools of themselves on American Idol? Why on EARTH would you want to do something like that with your life? CAN’T YOU SEE THEY ARE ALL LAUGHING AT YOU? (This, of course, does not include anyone on my beloved Project Runway. They are all spiritual beings on a higher plane. Especially Tim Gunn.) Maybe the laughing isn’t loud enough. Maybe every person who tries to get on reality tv thinks to themselves “It will be different for me. I won’t be like those others - everyone will see me for the unique beautiful creature I am, and America (and parts of Western Europe) will love me. Unconditionally. And no-one will ever take photos of my blood stained crotch and publish them on the internets.” Dear people who try out for reality tv, rent paparazzi, or try REALLY HARD to become celebrities without having any disernable talent except for the ability to get a lot of plastic surgery: Knock it off. You are freaking me out. Love, Laurenn |
January 18th, 2008 at 4:50 pm
One of our albums is called Beatles for Sale.
Of course, you’re the one with the teevee show, luv.
January 18th, 2008 at 5:22 pm
Some people, it would appear, need the hugs of strangers more than most.
I learned a long time ago, those hugs don’t last or warm you the way one might hope.
January 20th, 2008 at 12:02 pm
I think that there’s a dearth (ha! big word and I used it) of Shame. Not the crippling kind that bludgeons us into bad feelings but the plain old fashioned kind that says “you need a nap and a hug before giving it a better go.”
January 24th, 2008 at 12:47 pm
Have you seen the series finale of Extras? It’s all about this. Good stuff (a little sappy, but good).
Ironically, celebrities who pursue this attention wouldn’t actually give someone attention if they were standing in front of them. Like, it has to be filtered through photos and the net. They want to feel loved, not to actually experience it up close?
By the way, please don’t listen to your sponsor about us nobodies!
February 2nd, 2008 at 9:45 pm
I don’t know if you knew this, but besides stalking comic pros on their blogs, I love soccer. Check out the tats on Quaranta here: http://theoffsiderules.blogspot.com/2008/01/becks-butching-up-working-on-second.html
The guy’s from Baltimore, so cut him some slack (I kid, B-more’s the shit). Also, the post is about Beckham’s new tat, which is on his left arm, and it’s Victoria naked!! *gasp*
August 28th, 2008 at 9:18 am
Paul McCartney
Very interesting post. A little bit confusing, but still ok.